Plotting the course of your life and celebrating messiness


Plotting the course

It’s not rocket science. 

  • You get a sense of where you are now with the creation of your life. 
  • You explore which bits are working (keep those)
  • You look at which bits aren’t (ditch these)
  • You begin to create a vision of what would constitute your ideal life
  • Then you begin to plot a course which will head you in that direction (at a level of perceptions, feelings, thoughts, and actions)

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.      –  Frank A. Clark

Of course on paper it all looks incredibly straight forward.  However, let’s face it life is messy and sometimes chaotic.

Messy is a good thing

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.   –  Walt Disney

The bad news is that none of us live a Teflon existence, which simply means that none of us escape adversity and challenge.  However, that is the good news as well.

Life is chock full of both unexpected events and unrealized expectations. 

When an unexpected but pleasant event occurs we wouldn’t dream of saying: no take it away I wasn’t expecting that to happen.  In fact we often describe these types of incidents as good luck or fortune. 

However, when the unexpected creates feelings diametrically opposed to any notion of pleasure we do everything we can to quickly and efficiently exorcize that event from our lives.  Often we never stop to think about or reflect on these incidents as fortuitous.  On other occasions we allow these incidents to hold our attention for much longer than any of the positive events that come and go in our lives.

When something comes into my life that I neither expected nor, on the surface, wanted or needed, I’ll say: this too shall pass

For me this isn’t a flippant statement.  It is not meant to minimize the often traumatic events that occur during our lifetimes.  It’s simply a way of recognizing that the intensity of feeling that I’m having over it will eventually be diluted by the mist of time. 

It isn’t the events that come into our lives that develop or reflect the depth and breadth of our character.  It’s the way that we relate to those events. 

Everything in life is a gift – every interaction, every event, every situation.  The gift these events/challenges afford us is the opportunity to grow and evolve our relationship to ourselves, others and life in general through such adversity.   

Sometimes the gift is really, really BIG.  However, the intensity, depth and breadth of any challenge is equal to the enormous possibility it gives us to learn and grow from it, which in turn allows us to more fully express the depth and breadth of who we truly are.

On a not so great day, I allow the enormity of the weight I’ve given whatever the challenge to drag me into a vortex of victimhood and reactive non-action. 

On a good day, I give myself permission to step back and breathe while looking the adversity square in the face and ask:  What gift and opportunity for learning and growth is this challenge offering me?

It ‘s never about the lessons the adversity offers the ‘others’ involved – it’s always about the gift of learning and growth the challenge gives us. 

It’s ours for the taking.  We just need to recognize the gift and seize it with both hands.

What are some of the challenges you have faced and what were lessons that you’ve learnt and how did you allow yourself to grow from the experience.

I would love to know your views and experiences.

In the next blog we will begin to explore the notion of resilience. 

In the meantime have a fabulous learning experience.

Igniting Your Passion Through Clarity of Purpose & Focused Action

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“I recently heard Ruth speak to an audience of over 400 at a motivational event.

She is a compelling story teller, she held the audience in a state of suspension between laughing at the humorous parts and wondering what would come next in the dramatic bits.

Her speech was an inspiration and an experience. Her style is comfortable, conversational and positively provocative.

She entertains and enlightens her listeners while making them think and encouraging them to take action.”

Peter Wright, Director, Public Speakers Association

Peter Wright

Ruth is an inspiring speaker and great storyteller, who weaves a seamless message within her presentation. Her humour and down-to-earth messages kept the audience hanging onto her every word. Ruth’s message was funny, entertaining, real and inspirational. I wholeheartedly recommend her for both organizational and public keynote speaking forums

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Ruth is a wonderful coach, mentor and facilitator. She has an uncanny ability to unlock insights into issues by guiding the people she works with to see and understand their worlds differently. She has a deeply human touch that is grounded in the realism of commercial experience and a sensitivity to the complexities of social and organisational affairs.

Dr. Paul Johnston DBA, MBA, pgce, BA (hons) Dr. Paul Johnston DBA, MBA, pgce, BA (hons)

Ruth is a really great person. I thoroughly recommend her in a coaching, mentoring or facilitating role. She is one of the few coaches that has a profound experience of integral thinking which she uses to great advantage in her work.

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Ruth is insightful, warm, caring and a great listener. These traits, coupled with her deep academic background and astute practical mind, make her an excellent coach, mentor and facilitator. Ruth helps you see complex situations from different perspectives, leading to solution or action plans. She is a delight!

Enn Martin - Enterprise Support Manager at Oracle

I thoroughly enjoyed Ruth’s bubbly and enthusiastic presentation straddled by a touch of personal humour and a sense of commitment to society. Her delivery was very eloquent and confident. The message was clear and precise and riveted the diverse audience for 10 minutes leaving us wanting more.

Martin Buckland

Ruth is a confident, inspiring and effervescent speaker. She strategically uses humour to create a relaxed environment while captivating the audience with her story of personal resilience. In a brief few minutes, Ruth left us wanting more and sent us forth with a refreshed gratitude and respect for the power of human kindness and perseverance. The plot twists of life really do occur for a reason and uncovering that reason is Ruth's passion.

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As the owner of a marketing agency for speakers - and the host of momondays Barrie, I see a LOT of speakers... I can say without reservation that Ruth has a genuine talent for speaking. When she shared her story on the momondays stage in 2014, she had the audience laughing, thinking and on their feet. Ruth, you speak with a genuineness and humour that touches an audience. It was a pleasure!

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